a day in the life of a self-confessed diva...

allow me to take you on a quick trip on what's it like to live my crazy-assed wonderful life...

at 4:30 am , i would hear my cellphone alarm waking me up. too sleepy to wake up just yet, i grudginly get the phone and snooze the thing for another 15minutes.

after 15 minutes, i hear the darn thing once more and i get up, much with a heavy heart and get my shampoo, conditioner and facial foam from my vanity stand and get a towel and proceed to the bathroom to get a good, long, 20 minute bath.

then, i start to dress up and make myself look presentable, eat breakfast and then take off...

the actual day's work begins at around 6:55 am when i get to school and start the day's drama and torture.

it's just the usual: listen to lectures, joke around with my blockmates, go out to buy food (especially during the mornings when we don't eat anything coz we're scared of getting late), copy off answers from each others' papers during quizzes (= p), vocally hope that our next professor's not around so we can take a break...then, finally, we end our last period and all go home in one piece.

actually, my friends and me still hang out a little, eat lunch, then do a little on-line home work, then go home.

it's basically the same old boring routine and it's sooo lame and it gets old school sometimes.but i'm a creature of habit, i guess, since i stick to the same itinerary everyday without complaining...the special spice that makes my school days worth while are basically the people who are in my circle, so it's all good...;)

**special shout out to my high school friends: lhynne (happy 18th this saturday!), kate, sarah, jane, marissa, hazel, camz, kristina, and all those whom i failed to mention.miss miss you guys!**

ciao.

=*

melancholic..yet stupendous

perhaps i failed to mention that i had the best saturday! my parents came here for a visit and they brought along my two younger siblings.we had so much fun!
although we got stuck in traffic for about an hour or so, it was so much worth it because we spent the time catching up on stuff and laughing and spending quality family time together. i miss my family a lot...especially that my dad is working again back in our province. it was a lot bearable last year that my dad was here because he makes the prospecct of missing home (especially my mom and siblings) less felt. i mean, when he was still working here, we always talked about a lot of stuff (like we always do) and he always made sure that we get to talk to my mom over the phone every night. now that he's not here, the house feels really empty and boring.
but nonetheless, i'm still really thankful that he's back at work in his office there. atleast, the things that weren't done right by the person he replaced (sorry to be cynical, but it's true--the former guy that used to do my dad's old job is a good for nothing SOB who made life miserable for my dad's staff). the ones working for my dad are really really great people who would always be invited at home everytime we have celebrations of some sort and they were really close with my dad.
that is just one of the many admirable things that i look up to in him--he's very down-to-earth and pleasant, he treats everyone that works for him as equals and human beings, but at the same time, instilling in them the level of respect that he is still the boss. my dad is a great man.he really is. people should know him and look up to him.
anyway, i also miss my mom so much.it's primarily because i miss the shopping sprees (haha) and the seemingly unlimited supply of money everytime i am with her.*kidding* but, yeah, honestly, i miss her a lot. not only for the shallow reasons i already made mention of, but because i miss the person who has taught me a lot about life and how and what i should be, especially when dealing with people.
my friends know this: my mom is perhaps the most abrasive, tactless and straighforward person i know.in a lot of ways, i take up like her. i mean, your ears would seriously burn out if they're untrained for my mom's tirade, which would go on for hours usually. but i love her still and the respect i have for her never wavers because of it.
there was one time earlier last june when my friends and me talked about getting jobs so we could have some extra "dough" for our miscellaneous expenses. i timidly asked her about it and i wanted to see if she was gonna give me her consent, but she was like, "why would you want a job?are we getting poor?is your dad and me not earning enough to give you all that you want?" whoa. and i was like, "no, mom. i'm sorry. forget about it."
funny, right? one thing about my mom--she's way too much of an ego and she has a very biting pride. she just doesn't want us to be tired of hard labor while we're still at school. i mean, that's very gallant and noble of my parents. i understand them--for the most part.:) hehe come to think about it, while i write about her, it's like i'm writing about myself too.
anyway.change of topic.
you would never believe who i chanced on last saturday while we had mass!
**a little disclaimer: for the benefit of online peace, i wouldn't be mentioning any names again**
i saw, undoubtedly, the ex girlfriend of my highschool crush! (well, for my high school friends reading this, you already know the people involved..just keep quiet about it, okay?) i was so surprised that i would be seeing her, and in the house of God, no less!not that i didn't think that she had no religion or anything, but i would say that it was very unlikely that we would see each other, of all places, inside the church!we didn't say "hi" or "hello", ofcourse, since we had quite a silent war after they became boyfriend and girlfriend, but it wasn't like i was expecting her to acknowledge me either. what the eff, if that's the way she wants it, then let the games begin...
we used to friends (i think), because we were always friendly with each other back in my sophomore year and when she was in her junior year in highschool. but after we both competed in the election for the same postion, that was when we started ignoring each other. and "him" having a thing for "her" didn't help either. if anything, it made me hate her even more. but after all these years, i forgot about all the hurt and i allowed bygones be bygones. i mean, that's just the mature thing to do, right? and after all, she can't possibly pull my hair and engage me in a catfight..her school is like, all the way across the other side of the city.
whatev.
i can't believe our exams are coming up in a few days. i hope i can manage studying and looking last minute for notes and asking my smart, nice and understanding blockmates to help me out with my difficulties in finance. hehe
we had the class picture taking today and we laughed our butts off. seriously. my blockmates are a group of insane, loud, wacky but intelligent people who are fond of "lurlur"...haha. yet another of the infamous 2CA1 secret vocabulary that people have to research about in order for them to find out.

well.i guess this is good for now.
till next post.have a great day everyone!=*

ciao.

the desire to crawl and die...

so it's a humid afternoon today.

i just came from pe class a few minutes ago and seriously, i want to drop out on my class.

i was soo embarrassed that the thought of it makes me want to dig a really really deep hole in the ground and bury myself in it and just come out again after all of humanity dies out. (which is virtually impossible, since i would be dead by that time too because of suffocation and claustrophobia.)

anyway, i want to get past whatever happened today and just start anew next week. besides, my supportive and beloved groupmates (go dark blue team!love you guys!) said it was no big deal and it was only a practice game, so i son't have to worry about anything. maybe, i'm just overreacting (once again).

so i've been reading "the devil wears prada" for about 3 days now and just as i have expected, i am so inlove with the story and i think that lauren weisberger (the author) is a genius! i have to mention a special shout out to my blockmate and friend me-ann for letting me borrow the book.:)

i just find it utterly cute and (sometimes) annoying that the characters in the story keep on telling and telling andrea sachs (the main character) that a million girls would die for her job, in reference to her job as miranda priestly's assistant. miranda, is by the way, the editor in chief of runway magazine and perhaps the biggest bitch i have encountered so far in all of the literary stuff i've read my entire life (well, the other one being hatsumomo, from memoirs of a geisha, but she is a lovable antagonist, atleast). but so far, she has done nothing majorly offensive to andrea (save the orders she barks at her constantly, 24/7) and i really really love the novel. i'm like, 7 chapters away and i promise that i'll do a separate post about it after i've read the entire thing.

anyway, i'm so excited for tomorrow! we're gonna have our annual class picture taking and i'm assuming that it's gonna be loads of fun!atleast now, my blockmates and me know each other pretty well, so we're gonna bond like crazy tomorrow.(like we always do in our prestigious room 113 which we have shared for the past 2 years now)

anyway.i have to cut this short.i'm rushing a case study homework for marketing class due at 10 pm.haha.i'm such a crammer these days.

ciao!

much love!;)

falling out of love but recovering once more...

so, okay, the prospect of missing him and thinking too much about what happened between the two of us rarely enters my mind lately, especially that i've been busy with school work and catching up with our missed lessons. i guess keeping myself busy has helped me out a lot, coz my mind is just blank every night, after all the day's drama has come to an end. well, honestly, there are days when i wish i could still see him around so my friends could tease me and i'd be all blushy and stuff.(stupid, but cute, right?)
anyway, i'm just happy and content that he's moving on and heck, i'm pretty much doing the same. i mean, if it's not broken, don't fix it, right? after all, it was he who said it: "try not to force anything...learn to let go and let God..". it may sound like i'm still really bitter. to tell you for the record, i still get the feeling of "bitterness" when i summon it upon myself, but for the most part, i'm glad that everything is behind me now and i'm up for a fresh, new start. he's not worth it--to tell you the truth.i still find it disgusting sometimes that i was that obsessed about him. actually, it wasn't all obsession--i really did love him. but now, there's a BIG question in that.
it has been said that you wouldn't be falling out of love with someone unless you have already fallen for another person. i totally disagree with this claim.i mean, i've spent the entire summer vacation seeing old guy friends in hopes that i would be falling for one of them instead.however, not one of them actually sparked up anything within me, and it was probably because i was feeling like my relationship with each of them has somehow been stale due to the distance that we have spent apart. oh well, it wasn't like i was looking anyway.i just wanted to see how far my capacity to move on would take me. it was stupid,really, to think that i could use my old friends to forget one hell of a guy.
oh.i might not have mentioned this yet, but i'll be mentioning it anyway:
there is someone right now.
oh, the feeling is really good everytime i think about him and the rare times i get to see him are really , really, really special for me. he's so damn hot and he seems really really nice. and here's the catch:
would you be surprised to know that this new person is actually my former special someone's current girlfriend's ex boyfriend?
complicated,huh?
but wait, let me expalin myself.i'm not doing this on purpose and this is in no way a means for me to retaliate and get back at the bitch who pretty much ruined things for me and the guy.(*haha*)to tell you honestly, with all bitchiness aside, i really really really like this guy. i think it was stupid for the girl to dump him in the first place because he seems just so--perfect. you know, he's like the best catch--attractive, simple, looks like he's got a good 10-year plan for himself...etc. it made me wonder why he's still here in school because i was under the impression that he was supposed to graduate last year.
kinda like destiny, huh?but right now, i wouldn't want to look at all these as seemingly destiny or fate because as far as i can remember,the last time i assumed that it was destiny made me end up in a bitter situation.
wait.if you, dear reader (that is, if anyone is actually reading my posts), happen to notice,i am not in anyway making mention of the names of the people involved this tangled web of a...love rectangle. it is because the last time i wrote a dirty comment in friendster, it almost made me end up fighting in a bitter feud with someone i barely even know.i mean, it's funny and weird for me, actually, coz even on-line, i'm still the same, war-freak,tactless,insensitive diva.
going back to the original purpose on why i am writing this blog in the first place, there are some things i've learned which helped me (and hopefully, you would be helped too) when it comes to dealing with moving on problems.
above anything else, once a closure is already directly (or indirectly, depending on the given situation) expressed by any one of you (your bf/gf/suitor/crush/admirer,etc.) in the relationship, try to understand and accept that it means whatever happened between the two of you is no longer valid for some reason.it's stupid for one of you to say "let's talk it over" or "can you give me another chance?", because clearly, MAJOR DUH, he/she already wants to end up things with you. i mean, do you still need anyone to spell that out for you?acceptance is the key.once the closure is given, then it's a signal and an indication that you have to go your separate ways and move on.
next, as cliche as this may sound, there are still a lot of other fish in the ocean. let's face it, we all want to get the biggest catch, don't we?so, try to take advantage of your new found freedom and flirt everwhere with all the cute boys available.
never ever get into depression mode after a hard break up. crying for hours is okay, but weeping for an entire week is already stupid and an exaggeration. i mean, if it was that easy for the guy/girl to move on, then, it's a mandated right for you to do the same.who says you're entirely tied up with that bastard of an ex boyfriend or bitch of an ex girlfriend of yours?you should know better.
eat lots of chocolates--they're perfect when you're feeling bitter because their utter sweetness makes you feel like you deserve a person as delicious as that treat.(*winks*)
confide in your friends--they're the best people who should understand and know how you feel most since you're basically with the same faces everyday.
learn to go out clubbing and partying--flaunt your assets and show them what you've got. show that guy/girl what he/she is missing and what he/she dumped.prove to that person that dumping you is a big mistake and that he/she is missing a huge part of his/her life because of it.
smile.even though you're still hurting...even if you know it's just fake.

ciao!have a great (rainy) day to all!=)

=*

scared the wits out of me...

we're in computer class right now and i almost brokedown because i only copied my friend's work which was posted in our yahoo groups..i honestly thought she was going to reprimand me for copying off another person's work, but it seems like she didn't even notice that we all have the same work.

whatever.

i guess i have to be more careful next time.

anyway.

i'm super sleepy right now.who wakes up at 5 am so that she could go to class at 7 am???!!

my friends are beside me right now and i feel so thankful that i have buddies like them.they were very tolerant towards me when i kept on blabbering about how scared i am for the result.

gotta go.

til next post.

much love.=*

my happiness list

1. having a worry-free weekend without thinking about what i should do next
2. buying a cute pair of new shoes and trying them on without making the soles dirty
3. getting text messages from people i barely get to see
4. lying in bed, listening to the rain pour outside and then dozing off, then waking up to find out that it's still raining
5. eating a bar of any kind of chocolate
6. thinking about the good times i've spent with my family and anticipating more precious moments with them
7. going out alone and eating at a fast food
8. hearing a favorite song i have long forgotten about then finding myself singing it over and over again
9. buying new things for myself
10. seeing friends who gives me a tight hug everytime
11. getting my nails done
12. holding hands with someone i care about, irregardless of gender
13. sharing a good laugh with friends
14. finding myself missing someone then accidentally bumping into him/her a few days later
15. watching a great movie alone or with friends-it doesn't matter!
16. feeling the wind whip around my face and hair
17. returning to my beloved high school and reminiscing all that has been and smiling at how much the school has changed and improved
18. seeing my younger friends who treat me as their own older sister and getting hugs and loads of stories from them
19. having a heart to heart talk with chrisline about the things that are going on with our lives and finding ourselves getting emotional in the middle of it all
20. singing songs with kate and hearing compliments from her
21. the jokes that sarah and i share which keeps us laughing and laughing
22. having a good talk with my dad about politics, life, God, my ambitions and his dreams for us
23. my mom 's cooking and knowing that she trusts me enough to tell me some private things that only she and i know about
24. mishe's laughter and her company everytime we have a meaningful walk together
25. being with mafe who calls me "mommie!" all the time and being trusted with secrets and problems
26. hours and hours and hours long of phone conversations with theza where we talk about everything there is to talk about
27. meaningful conversations with karen v.
28. sharing harry potter stuff stories with marissa
29. getting a good night's sleep realizing i don't have to wake up early the next day
30. going to school prepared for a test or a report or a recitation
31. watching an episode of "america's next top model"
32. visiting my friendster account and getting comments and friend requests and seeing that my profile is viewed more than 50 times
33. reading a good book
34. confiding to camille m. about all the troubles that i'm going through and getting words of encouragement from her that means "just know that i'm here and i love you as a friend so you don't have to worry about anything" for me
35. seeing karen borja's beautiful, warm smile and hearing stories from her and when she tells me that she appreciates the things i do for her
36. hanging out with adeline as i silently find her child-like qualities really cute and amusing as i yearn to tell her that she doesn't need to grow up for me because i want her to stay carefree like a child forever
37. just being around audrey who makes me feel like every minute with her is heaven!
38. joking around with kristina and teasing other people when we have nothing to do
39. drinking a cold glass of water after feeling really thirsty
40. keeping pictures and letters that mean a lot to me
41. putting on make up and seeing how good i look with it
42. running after my little sister and hugging her tight then kissing and kissing her all over again
43. getting good scores and grades from exams i knew i studied for
44. reciting in class and being commended for giving out a very meaningful answer or insight
45. being surrounded by friends who gives me comfort after i cry
46. taking pride that i was once THE vice president of SCC when i was in high school
47. being informed by my parents that cj is doing really well in school
48. jj's witty stories and the times that he shows he is on my side
49. getting along well with kuya timothy and sharing a pack of junkfood with him while watching UAAP games
50. being stuck in traffic, closing my eyes to sleep away the boredom then waking up realizing that i'm almost home
51. pacific's nonstop and effortless attempts to be funny and his avid desire to talk about boys and ***(haha)
52. getting birthday greetings and gifts, of course!
53. people who appreciates my work
54. hearing soothing music from an unknown place
55. drinking any flavored frappe from starbucks!
56. eating tokyo tokyo food!
57. having any meals with my friends as we talk about lots of stuff
58. feeling the cool mall air against my face
59. knowing that my family and friends are happy
60. sitting at the edge of a pool and soaking my feet wet in the water
61. a long, refreshing bath in the middle of a hot day
62. sitting in a rocking chair, doing some thinking
63. looking at any cute object colored pink or blue
64. teddybears!
65. hearing "i love you" and "take care" from anyone who cares
66. freinds who are happy with their relationships
67. family meals, especially every sunday, christmas and new year's eve and when anyone in the family celebrates his/her birthday
68. a hot guy looking my way
69. reading meaningful quotes and sharing it with friends
70. the knowledge that i am trusted and depended on
71. everything that i've been through in highschool!
72. attending friends' birthday parties which also serve as a reunion with old friends
73. updating my blog
74. going to mass with my family
75. writing a happiness list and seeing it get longer and longer, which makes me think back and have reasons to fill up 10 or 20 more notebooks and still not end listing all things that make me happy

**till here.i'll continue updating this..

ciao!

much love=*

from a friendster bulletin

WHAT EACH KISS MEANS
Message:
: Kiss on the Upper chest; I'mready
-Kiss on the Forehead; We're so cute together .
-Kiss on the Cheek; We're friends.
-Kiss on the Hand; I adore you.
-Kiss on the Neck; I want you, now.
-Kiss on the Shoulder; Your perfect.
-Kiss on the Lips; I think I reallylove/like you.
WHAT A GESTURE MEANS-
Holding Hands; We definitely likeeach other.
-Slap on the Butt; Your fun.
-Holding you tight pressed againsteach other; I want you.
-Looking into each other's Eyes; Ilove/like you, for who you are.
-Playing with Hair; Let's fool around.
-Arms around the Waist; I love/likeyou too much to let go.
-Laughing while Kissing; I am completely comfortable with you.
Advice;Don't ask for a kiss, take one.
If you were thinking about someonewhile reading this,you're definitely in Love.

crying over harry potter 5...='C

well yesterday, my friend marissa and me finally saw hp5 and we had loads of fun and it was so much worth it!
the part were sirius black died really had me crying.but it was strange, because it was altered. in the book, bellatrix didn't use the avada kedavra on him...he just sort of fell into the veil...but i guess i don't need to super analyze it, right?after all, i did enjoy the film and i had fun.
**more soon.promise

ciao.

braver than before

top ten things i love to do on a quiet day:

• sleep


• lie down, listen to my heartbeat and doze off


• eat any kind of chocolate


• watch DVDs and sleep in the middle of the film


• look at pictures of me and my friends as i reminisce the moments when we took it


• stare out the window


• wait for a phone call or a text message from any of my friends


• stare into nothingness


• walk around, as i try to figure out what i should do


• look at myself in the mirror and admire the person i see there, while drowning in my self assumed perfection

hahaha.could you say i spend my free time on such a productive note?

well, i only do those things when i have nothing to do, except when i'm studying or busy doing a report or paper of some sort.

so i've spent the entire 3 hours here at the school library, taking advantage of our free internet time.

it's thursday!one day away and its gonna be the weekend!i'm super excited because my highschool friend marissa and me are going to watch harry potter 5 and we have no plans whatsoever to cancel our little movie trip because we've waited too long already.

anyway, i need to take a serious breather and rest from any type of extra curricular school activity.i'm sick and tired of doing errands for people and i hate running around from one building to the other just so i could ask some school official to sign papers and stuff.i don't want to follow any more orders.i usually don't let people boss me around, and it's so unlike me to be doing tasks for people, especially people i don't know or give a damn about. i guess it has all been ethics and pure martyrdom that has possessed me to do according to their bidding, but after this week, HELL NO, i'm gonna live my life according to how i want it to be...which means:

• more sleeping hours for me during night time (coz atleast 5 hours of rest every night is a luxury, considering our classes start 7am everyday and i am already a candidate for failure due to absences because of the extreme tardiness i usually have because i wake up late)


• more time for my social life (i barely have time for my friends these days because we're all such busy people and occasional laughs and lunch together are rarely possible)


• more concentration on my school work (above anything else, i am a student and i need to focus on my grades right now, especially that i am in desperate need to prove something to a LOT of people)

so, there...my happiness is basically uber shallow, and provided that i achieve those mentioned above soon, i'm definitely gonna be my normal, wonderful, spunky self.

until next post.ciao!

=*