DISCLAIMER:
in order to protect the interest of the mentioned parties, i will NOT be mentioning names or will i be descriptive of the people, places and events that are involved so as to lessen the chances of them getting reprimanded for telling the dirt.
i am very protective of those who told me, the same way that i am protective of the ones who are said to be controversial.
...
i was online in YM earlier today and my stat had been:
"so talagang laganap ang buntisan at pagiging batang nanay sa mga kabatch ko.tsktsk.lang hiya."
alarming?hmm, i thought so too.especially if you happen to find out who among them are undergoing or otherwise, underwent that painful ordeal.some of them weren't a surprise, considering that they were sluts even back then (harsh, but true), but a handful of them were unexpected.
ONE of them turns out to be a very close friend of mine.
so now i guess you know why i'm blogging about this, huh?
...
BACK STORY:
last friday (may 23), a couple of my lovely BFFs from HS and i went out. and as usual, they filled me in with the latest batch gossip, like who's dating who, and who among our female batchmates are pregnant, got pregnant (but didn't have the heart to even let the innocent soul see its first light) or already has a baby.
i was the first one to arrive in the mall (that's new...i always get late when we hang out). i was close to decomposing in the food court when finally, my friend princess (not her real name) came. so we talked and i suggested that she tell me what was up and what the latest gossip was.
here's a vague memory of the talk we had...
PRINCESS: "ay eto, may balita ako sayo chai..."
CHAI: "game.ano yun?"
PRINCESS: "uso na naman ang buntisan sa batch natin."
CHAI: "what?eh diba matagal na na issue yan??ano ba?this time for real na yan?"
P: "oo naman. eto, si *****...may anak na!"
C: "si *****???!!! what???kelan lang?"
P: "kapapanganak pa lang."
C: "whe??ai, hindi naman na ako nagugulat dun.haliparot na yun kahit dati pa eh."
P: "eto pa, si *******, buntis ulit.nakita ko kaya siya dito, kasama ate niya.at take note, PAREHO silang buntis..."
C: "whe?hindi nga???proud pa kamo. teka, ibig sabihin na buntis na siya before pero pina-abort niya?"
P: "may narinig din akong ganun.sa set of friends ko din, meron nang nanay na." (note: princess also belongs to another clique, other than our own barkada)
C: "whe?sino?"
P: "si ******.ninang nga kami lahat eh.eh dose kami diba?"
C: "ampota.totoo?"
P: "oo, kasal na nga sila nung lalaki eh."
C: "o, bilis, sino pa??"
P: (looked at me seriously) "eto.pero promise mo hindi ka mabibigla ha?"
C: (kabado, siyempre.ayoko pag ganun siya ka-seryoso) "o sige. wait,ihahanda ko sarili ko..." (humingang malalim) "o sige.game.sino?"
P: "si ******."
C: (hindi makapagsalita, nakatulala lang sa ere..inaabsorb ang narinig)
P: "ui chai?okay ka lang?"
C: (sabay hampas sa balikat ng kaibigan) "totoo??pano mo nalaman?pano mo nasabi?"
P: "ang sama ng reputation niya sa school, chai.papalit-palit ng boyfriend, minsan gabi na masyado kung umuwi."
(dumating na yung isa naming friend, si tweety (not her real name again.baduy, pero it's the best that i can think of) at in-update namin siya sa pinagkekwentuhan namin ni p)
TWEETY: "ah oo.chai, totoo nga.kasi yung bf ko, close sa bf ni ******.tapos, imbitado daw sila sa fiesta, nakita niya na umiiyak si ****** pero parang wala lang dun sa bf niya."
C: "napaka walang hiya."
T: "oo talaga.eh hindi naman gwapo.alam mo, kawawa si ******.dahil nga daw dun, nagstop na siya muna.din nga natapos first sem eh.kaya feeling namin na may anak na siya ngayon.ilang beses na din namin nakita na medyo malaki nga yung tiyan."
P: "oo. tapos to think sa isang apartment lang sila ng kuya niya."
C: "grabe.hindi ko akalain."
P: "eto chai.KUMAPIT KA NA..."
C: "sino pa?ikagugulat ko ba yan??"
P: "oo talaga.si **, isa rin.nanganak na din!"
C: (nanlaki mata) "WHAT???!!! SI **???!!!! WHHEEE???? AS IN?"
P: "oo. siya nga."
C: "pero ibang iba reputasyon nun nung HS ah???hindi siya pa-girl!!!bakit ganun??"
P: "oo nga eh.kahit kami nagulat.hindi tayo close sakanya, pero nakakagulat."
...
THOUGHTS:
if you observe our conversation, i was more shocked in finding out about the last person's pregnancy.however, that doesn't mean that i am not as surprised about the issue of my close friend, because i am. i really am. i am concerned, worried and quite disappointed.
for one thing, i know for a fact that my friend wouldn't just go sleeping around with random guys.she's TOO smart for that.and add to it the fact that she is known to be Ms. Conservative.
however, amidst the accusations, i can't help but believe the talks (well, maybe just a little).
for one thing, our lines of communications have been brittle ever since we got out of high school. we do text, but it's as seldom as seeing falling stars at night. 3 years can make a big difference, as far as i know. the innocent friend i once knew might not be as demure as i thought her to be. but until i don't get the story out straight from her, the talks are mere gossips right?
my dilemma, however: my friends aren't liars, the same way i know that ****** isn't a slut either.
what should i do?
i've actually asked people for their opinion, and they said that i should really search for facts that will make the talks credible. and as of the moment, the accusations are blunt.
however, i pondered on what i should do and decided for myself that regardless of the truth, i am still going to be her friend.the most important thing is that i am going to be there for her and i won't judge her even if the rumors are true. after all, that's what a decent friend would do, right?
i just hope she's okay and that she's not losing her spirit.
...
as if the pregnant issue lives on.
i got a text from another frien this morning, and she told me to check out her friendster site and read the comment that our friend ****** gave her. i did.
what i read also shocked me beyond repair.
she was like, "hey, i miss you. and i also miss our other friends. by the way, i'm a mommy now.i gave birth last may 14. please tell the others na lang kasi i don't have their contacts." then she included her cell number.
i sat motionless infront of the laptop, just staring at the screen. it seemed that the pregnancy and young motherhood vibe throbs thickly in the air.
and just what a decent friend should do, i texted her and asked her how she was.and when she said she was alright, i texted her with, "you have news for me.which i already know." and we went on, i asked her so many stuff, like how it happened, did she have to stop school, what her parents' reaction was, how's the young one doing, if she's happy and if the father of the baby (bless him) won't be estranged.
she graciously answered each question, like there wasn't a gap the entire time we weren't communicating. she said her baby cries a lot, especially if he's hungry; she had to stop school because her school didn't accept pregnant students; HER PARENTS WERE FURIOUS AT FIRST...HER OWN DAD DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO SEE HER, SO SHE WAS SENT AWAY (LIKE IN A MINI EXILE) TO HER TITA'S HOUSE; and she also said that the daddy and her are still together, and that she has no desire to get married yet since they're not yet ready.
but there was one lesson i learned from her when she told me, (in response to my question of how she's feeling): "well, i do regret some of the things i did...like, getting pregnant at a young age, napabayaan ko studies ko...and being a mom at age 19...but i'm happy."
she could still afford to be happy.
heck, the things i ever worry about doesn't even border between pregnancy and stuff. if i break a nail, that's a tragedy to me, but having your own folks ship you away to another house WHILE you're carrying a child?man, that's a mishap.
and i think a bad hair day is terrible.
it just made me realize that there are bigger problems in life. and not getting that chanel bag you wanted doesn't count.
for the record, she told me that everything's okay now and that her dad can't wait to see the baby boy (her dad works abroad, that's why). it's good to know that it worked out for her.
i hate to be your gossip girl, but i think i said enough.
...
"when you get out of your comfort zone, you hope that it'll be the same when you get back...but when you do, everything's different...is it because the place has changed?or did you?"
